“What does he/she have that I don’t?”—a question we ask ourselves far too often.
We live in a world saturated with visuals that mirror perfection. In an age, dominated by social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of voyeurism; peeking into another person’s life and thinking that they are somehow better off than we are. The constant comparison of fashion, cars, jewelry, friendships, career and relationships can create an abundance of insecurities and make it easy to forgot our own greatness.
I'ts not enough to just disconnect from the Matrix, you must reprograme yourself.
Insecurity & Self-Esteem
Insecurity in any area of life can affect one’s self-esteem. A study called “Sweden’s Largest Facebook Study” conducted by the University of Gotham, that directly linked Facebook usage to levels of self-assurance. The study concluded that increased usage of Facebook negatively impacted self-esteem. Self-esteem determines how we value ourselves and make decisions, therefore, the level of our self-esteem determines the level of success we achieve in all parts of our lives- relationships, jobs, etc. (everyone has their own insecurities, some more than others) but the good news is we hold the power to raise our self-esteem through the practice of Self-Love.
Spicy Mari & Dr. Ally sit down with musical artist Consuella to discuss her hit single "Urself" and what inspired her journey of healing and happiness.
‘Self-love’ is a term that we hear used a lot these days, but what does it actually mean and
how do we achieve it? Self-love is a combination of things. It is the acknowledgment and acceptance of our shortcomings. It is viewing our self without judgment. It is constantly moving in the direction of growth through self-care: physically, mentally, and spiritually. Self-love requires us to put our self first, but not out of selfishness – quite the opposite – in fact, we must not sacrifice our own well-being in order to be the best version of our self and only then are we really able to help others. Here are some essentials to practicing self-love:
There will always be someone better or worse than you. Be grateful for all the things you have achieved up to this point -- this requires being fully present in the moment. The University of California Berkeley has a $3.1 million research study focusing on how gratitude improves “psychological, emotional, and physical well-being."
2. Positive Self-Talk:
Speak to yourself kindly. Just like you wouldn’t throw around insults to strangers, do the same for yourself. Focus on your strengths; accept your weaknesses and work on them. You’re not going to master everything that you do, and that’s okay.
Instead of sitting at home scrolling through the timelines and Insta-feeds of people you barely know (or know well for that matter) go out and do something great for your body. Go on a hike. Weightlift. Play soccer. Do something to get the body flowing. According to the CDC, some of the benefits of physical activity are weight control, reduced health risks, improvement in mental health/mood, longer life expectancy, and…you’ll feel better naked. Who doesn’t want that?
Get rid of the things or people in your life that do not build or lift you higher. Is it the secret stash of sweets in your cupboard you raid when you feel bad or lonely? Is it a significant other that constantly puts you down? Is it a friend that is always trying to one-up you? If it causes you more stress than it helps, you need to cut it.
5. Acquire Knowledge:
Get to know yourself better through meditation. It doesn’t matter how long, just make sure you devote time at some point of the day to process what you are feeling and what productive actions you can take for that day.
Get to know the world around you better through picking up a book. These are some books I recommend: 1. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle 2. The Secret by Rhonda Byrne 3. The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho 4. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
Benefits of Self-Love
By making a conscious effort to take care of yourself through the steps mentioned above, you build confidence and gain a clearer understanding of yourself. When you genuinely love and accept yourself for all the things you are and are not, you do not depend on any outside circumstance to validate you or define your value. When you are fully comfortable sitting with yourself, the absence of any one else is not as painful. The way you love yourself sets the standard for how others will love you. So love yourself to the highest degree because everyone deserves to be loved that way.